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We've been close companions for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered many obstacles, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been constantly blindsided by people. Her husband ended their marriage, and it was a massive blow. Many of close acquaintances vanished at that point, as they were drawn to him. It shocked her deeply. She put in more effort in our friendship, and must have understood more acutely what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't sure why. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, and she left without knowing what had changed.

Current Dynamics

Lately, both of us stepped back from work leading to more each other more, yet I realize my position in our friendship feels one-sided. I open discussion points but she shifts the talk toward what interests her. Politically, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend double-checking information and different perspectives.

She has been planning a trip abroad I've visited on several occasions even called home previously. My intention was to share insights, however, my input unappreciated. She really solely sought validation of her plans. I've just come back from 30 days in that country she hopes to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate to act as a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, yet I doubt she will ever comprehend the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, but it is seldom the easy answer we hope for. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of resolution demands strength and readiness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one involves describing the usual pattern when you talk. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and essentially exactly what occurs. The second is to tell how this makes you feel. This allows for no argument here. What you feel belong to you, of course. Step three is to question how the two of you will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Consider your friend holds perspectives, meaning you must to remain ready to listen to her. A helpful technique is to say to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's wildly impactful in fostering better communication.

Key Takeaways

Your friend could ignore all you say, since certain individuals hold onto a deep-seated story: they have a narrative of their life they won't let go of because their very survival depends upon it being the only thing they've known. This is difficult when there seems no easy route here, just dead ends. However, she might at first react defensively before reflecting about what you've said. And even if you never reach a fix, it will give you peace that you've been open and direct.